The Very Polite Pirates

It was the hottest day of the whole summer. Freddie splashed in the pool. SPLISH! SPLASH! SPLUM! Then round the hosepipe, a ship sailed in… With a flag, three sails, and a pirate crew grinning! It dropped anchor right beside Freddie's toes. "Ahoy!" called a pirate. "And pardon our nose!"

The pirate bowed low in his enormous hat. "Our captain has retired. He grows tomatoes now. Would you kindly be captain? We need one somehow!" Freddie blinked. "Me? A captain?" "Certainly! If you please!" "We have biscuits," said the pirate. "And a ship on the seas!" Freddie climbed aboard. "Then let's set sail!" "Excellent!" cried the pirate. "And thank you kindly!"

Captain Freddie was given a hat and a spyglass. The crew stood in line on the deck made of grass… Well, wooden planks, with a paddling-pool mast. There was Barnacle Bill, who said "Pardon me" fast; Polly Plank, who curtsied before every sneeze; And Biscuit the parrot, who only said "PLEASE!" "Welcome aboard!" they chorused with glee. "Would you like a biscuit?" "Yes, please!" said Freddie.

These pirates were different from others at sea. They never stole treasure. They always said "please." They let other ships go sailing ahead. They returned every coin and the hats on their heads. They sang as they sailed on the bright, bubbly blue: "Yo ho ho, and if you please! We're the politest pirates on the seven seas!" Then Polly spotted a map in a bottle. And X marked a spot on an island of toffee!

"Treasure!" cried Bill. "A chest of pure gold!" "Excuse me," said Polly, "that's what the map's told." "Thank you, dear map," said Bill with a bow. "But how do we get there? Can we go there now?" The map showed an island beyond the blue sea, past singing whales and a whirlpool or three. Captain Freddie raised the spyglass up high. "Full sail ahead! Let's give it a try!"

They sailed past whales who sang opera songs. They waved to a mermaid who'd been swimming for long. The waves went swish-swish. The sunshine shone bright. Then bubbles rose up from the deep, dark night. One bubble. Two bubbles. Then hundreds galore! The ship gave a wobble. The crew hit the floor. And out of the sea rose a shadow enormous… With scales, spiky fins, and a mouth most tremendous!

"GRRRRRRR!" roared the monster, shaking the sea. The pirates all squeaked and hid behind Freddie's knee. Barnacle Bill fainted. Polly said, "EEK!" Biscuit flapped wildly and shouted, "PLEASE!" But Freddie noticed something the others had missed: The monster held its jaw, with tears in its eyes. It wasn't looking angry. It looked rather sad. "Excuse me," said Freddie. "Are you feeling quite bad?"

The monster sniffed hard. A tear rolled down. "My tooth is so wobbly! It's making me frown. I can't eat my seaweed. I can't sing my song. And when I try smiling, it hurts all day long!" The pirates peeked out from behind the captain. "A toothache?" said Bill. "How terribly rotten!" "Could we take a look?" asked Freddie with care. The monster opened its mouth. A tooth wobbled in there!

"We mustn't just yank it," said Freddie with a frown. "Let's find a soft way to help it come down." The crew fetched a mirror and held it up high. The monster looked closely and gave a small sigh. "It's nearly ready," said Polly. "Just look!" "Perhaps," said Bill, "a bite of soft fruit would help?" They found a ripe peach in the ship's little store. The monster took one bite… POP! The tooth fell to the floor!

"My tooth!" cried the monster. "It's out! I'm all right!" It grinned such a grin that it sparkled with light. The pirates all cheered. Biscuit flapped in the air. "HOORAY!" shouted Bill. "PLEASE!" shouted Biscuit. "Thank you!" said the monster. "You've been very kind. I'll take you to Toffee Island! Climb on, if you don't mind!" The crew climbed aboard its enormous, bumpy back. And off they went sailing, with the treasure map on track.

At Toffee Island, they dug in the sand. X marked the spot, just as drawn by the map. They dug and they dug till… CLONK! went the spade. A chest full of treasure! The best ever made! Inside lay gold coins and toffee galore, enough for the pirates and plenty more. Captain Freddie gave the monster a soft, chewy treat. "Something gentle for your gums," he said. The monster grinned. "You're all very sweet!"

Back in the paddling pool, the ship sailed away, past the hosepipe and duck, at the end of the day. "Same time next summer, Captain?" called Bill. "Of course!" said Freddie. "I'd be delighted! I will!" The monster waved from the sea with a grin. Its new little gap let the sea breeze blow in. The crew sang their song as the ship disappeared: "Yo ho ho, and if you please!" And Biscuit called out from the crow's nest, quite clear: "PLEASE!"